My husband and I chose not to live together before we got married. The main purpose for this is it is against our beliefs as Christians. When it came time for me to move in we decided to stay in his small apartment.
Our reasoning was simple. We know that many new couples struggle over money. Since marriage has enough challenges there was no reason to add a new one. As long as we both had a room that we could go into if we needed some alone time that that was going to have to suffice.
I work a seasonal job in which I get the most work about 5- 6 months out the year. The other months are a bit slim. Also we knew that we would be combining two people’s finances which isn’t always easy. We come from very different backgrounds financially. Not to mention we just got done paying for a wedding with the help of our families. So we wanted a lot of wiggle when it came to money. Living from paycheck to paycheck just did not seem ideal.
This was really helpful when my car insurance increased due to my new address, when we had to pay for private health insurance for me or when surprises like parking tickets or car repairs came up. It also gave us a chance to see how much we needed for groceries, utilities, personal care items etc. Since our expenses were on the lower side we never had to dip into our savings and always had money for what we needed. (and usually simple wants too!) We have also been able to start saving money and even paying extra on his car.
Speaking of his car, that was another financial “sacrifice” that we made. His last car was giving him a lot of trouble. The last straw was when he was not able to register the car because it would not pass a smog check. So we needed to get a new car and fast. We decided to get an older car which we knew we could pay off within a year. We were able to get him a Honda (I know this sounds funny but all he wanted was a dependable car) from a dealership for a price that was very reasonable. This car was pretty good looking to be older, the previous owner took very good care of it. It has been more than dependable and next month we will make the last payment for it. Praise God!
Of course this decision to live in a smaller apartment has come with it’s challenges. Our bathroom is in our room. So when he gets ready I have to deal with the light at the sink and the noises that occur while he is preparing. I’m a light sleeper so everything wakes me up. But I put earplugs in in the morning and I put an eye mask on to combat that. When I forget to put it on he gently covers my head with a blanket. We have very little closet and cupboard space. But this makes us cut down on clutter and get rid of what we don’t need. As far as not having “enough personal space” well that hasn’t been a problem once. In fact we rather like being in each other’s space and spending our home time together. 😉
Our apartment isn’t in the best neighborhood. We don’t have space to invite many people over. It is by no means updated. Our neighbors can sometimes be a noisy pain. But I know that this apartment has provided us with more peace and stability as well as great memories for our first year of marriage.