Now that we’re married we certainly do NOT regret either of those decisions. There weren’t very many surprises as far as our living situations were concerned. I had a lot of people say, “oh just wait, you will really see how your spouse is after you live together.” But what I see now is what I saw before since we took the time to talk and get to know each other beforehand. The only surprise for me was that he takes an unreasonably long time to get up and ready each morning. That one still gets me sometimes, but its also kind of cute since it’s one of his “quirks” that I have to deal with. I have many quirks, so to get a chance to pick at him for one is pretty funny. He says that he didn’t find out anything new regarding me because he always knew that I was crazy since I told him from day one. Ha! Whatever…and yes I did warn him about my *ahem* preferences.
What about the sex? That is everyone’s Number 1 question. Even people who I don’t know very well ask me that. At first I was pretty irritated by this question, I am a relatively private person. So that question seemed so ridiculously rude! However after I thought about it more, I realized that for many people their first time was so long ago and for many of them it wasn’t exactly a calculated decision. Also people want to know if it was worth the wait, there aren’t very many people who they can ask on the other side of things. So without going into any personal details I will explain a bit of that to you.
YES, it was well worth the wait. Being able to have guilt free sex with my husband was great! Was it the perfect vision that I had assumed I would have since we both waited until marriage for sex? Absolutely not. Even though we read books on sex and we talked to trusted sources about it we still weren’t ready for what it actually was. Of course each couple will have different bodies, different past experiences, and different expectations that will alter their personal experience. Yes, some of the advice was very helpful. But when we got into it we realized that what was told to us didn’t necessarily pertain to us. So we had to learn what worked for us. Since we had no experience with anyone else, we didn’t have anything to compare it with, bonus! Since it was new to both of us we quickly realized that we needed to drop all expectations and just enjoy each other.
Oh and was was the coolest part? The connection that we had due to sex, and our new proximity to each other made us love and appreciate each other even more! Now don’t get me wrong, Lester was a wonderful man and obviously he loved me very much or I wouldn’t have married him. But these new additions to our lives has made him more mushy gushy and more lovey dovey with me. Yes those are real terms!
Living together also gave him a better appreciation for me. He sees how I come straight home from work and then will spend an hour on my feet cooking dinner. Or when I get up at 6 a.m. to do laundry since that’s the only time I will have to do it. This has made him appreciate me more. I get the bonuses of having him rub my back when I get back in bed after using the bathroom in the middle of the night. We can mumble to each other through dinner if we are still trying to unwind from work. Then if we get our second wind after we get in bed we can have pillow talk until we get tired.
Of course all of this can happen without being married. But building our relationship then adding these other aspects to our marriage was the cherry on top. I definitely suggest waiting, it more certainly worked for us.